i’m usually not the kind to introduce people (irl or in conversations) with their job, or where they work. but recently, i’ve found myself doing it more often than not. when i do, the stream of questions that flood me never seem to amaze me. am i now that serious a subscriber to the ideas of capitalism? is that what i think the most interesting or important part of this person’s life is? do they think that’s the most important or interesting part of their lives? how would they introduce themselves? have i heard them introduce themselves before? did i just forget? does that mean i’m not attentive to them?
amazing, you see.
maybe it’s just shorthand. the quickest way to place someone in a room. maybe it’s because work has quietly become the thing that eats the most hours out of my days, so it naturally spills into introductions too. maybe it’s because we’ve all agreed, without really saying it out loud, that occupations are easier to explain than people are.
but i still can’t help feeling a little strange about it.
because the people i know are never only their jobs. the most interesting things about them usually live somewhere else entirely; in the kinds of things they engage in; playlists they make, films they watch, hobbies theu enjoy, the things they notice, the odd little obsessions they carry around. in the fact that one of them always takes photos of things that remind them to try a mix of scents. another keeps a running list of beautiful sentences they’ve read.
none of these things ever make it into introductions.
and maybe that’s what unsettles me most. how easily entire people can collapse into a sentence like “she works in tech” or “he’s a designer.” how quickly we accept that as enough information to know someone, or at least begin knowing them.
interesting, for real. because i don’t even think we mean harm when we do it. i think we’re just trying to make each other legible as quickly as possible. trying to hand strangers something recognisable to hold onto.
still, i wonder what would happen if we introduced people differently.
not by what pays them.
not by where they work.
but by the things that make them feel most alive.